Monday, May 12, 2014

Personal Twilight Zone

 Today's lighthearted post has been put on hold because I am hesitantly going to take you on a journey to my personal Twilight Zone.

A new day has broken and I awoke to find myself in a place I know all too well but comfort is not a benefit of this familiarity. This place is one that has followed me for most of my life. Years ago I dwelt there ceasing to leave but God (that is a beautiful phrase) pulled me from its bondage. Nowadays it is place that I randomly find myself in and make it a point to promptly vacate. Today I am there and the reason for it is fully known. I was vulnerable. I obeyed God and in doing so, I had to be made humble, drop my pride, apologize, and open up to others.

 The situation required confronting someone but when you have neglected to uphold this responsibility for years, you have to ask forgiveness. In the process, there was sharing of my own struggles and how God is working in my life but sharing those struggles in front of others that I do not really know comes at price for me. It is a fast train to this dark, lonely place. The obedience did not purchase my one way ticket, it was the self-imposed fear of rejection that did that. Truth is not in this place and any means necessary is used to keep me here. "They hate you now," "You cannot face them again," "Everyone will think you are an idiot," and "No one will talk to you again. Ahhh, refreshing as big glass of rotted meat. 

 So, today is a day of walking in Truth. I like to start from the beginning, literally. In the beginning God probably don't want to journey that far. Well, that's okay. I can just share a little lyrical journey in Truth, sort of a rhythmic catechism. Enjoy!

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