I flew away to my mission trip last week and just got back. Every year I go on this trip I come back feeling so shameful for all the petty things I have complained about and all things I take for granted. A baby died while we were there of anemia of all things. I met mother after mother who had a sick child and family after family that worked just to survive each day. They were not trying to pay off their I-phone bill or buy the coolest shoes. They were gathering what food they could grow, washing what little they had on rocks, and doing it all on their own.
How could God want to use me, a person so full of pride and greed? But, in Christ I am not that person. In Christ, I am not American or a mother or a wife. In Christ, I am part of Him with a purpose. That purpose is to spread the gospel, to love others, and serve them.
My Spanish is very poor. I can only speak and understand very little but even though I could not talk much with the people we served, I found my brothers and sisters in Christ. We did not need many words because what we had in common was The Word. The day we left, it took everything to keep from hanging on to each other and I am not a touchy, clingy person.
Flying back into the US was sad. How can I keep the momentum going and not get caught up in the world again? How can I keep the vision of Christ? How can I serve continuously with joy?
This morning I have to pick up my foster daughter from respite. She could not go with us because it was just not possible due to the nature of our work and safety issues. She was not happy to go to respite so this is probably the testing of what I gained. Is it fruit or is it just feeling? Only God knows and only time will tell. Please let it be fruit!
|Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.|