Amazing how a little obedience changes things quickly.
When God puts something on your heart to do and you take it to mean that you need to pray for someone to step up and do it, you get worn down faster than the welcome mat at Chik-Fil-A during lunch hour. The call would pop into my head and my response was, "Yes Lord, someone needs to do that so please send a strong, solid person that will take care of it right away."
Ahhh, personal rebellion...gotta love a heart that tries to operate on its terms. Nope! Gotta rebuke it, repent, and be obedient. Why I have to add all these extra steps to my life, I'll never understand.
The call was to confront one straying from Truth. If you know anything about me, you know I am as confrontational as a swinging door. I am also a big scaredy cat of making grown-ups mad (children are a different story). Top all those winning qualities with the fact that I prefer to be in the background in a corner and you have an amazing leader - NOT!
Week after week, the burden gnawed at me. I used to boast that the Lord had given me the gift of being able to go to bed and go right to sleep but even that was taken from me. My stomach hurt. My nails were chewed to nubs and I was grumbling to others. I felt awful, looked awful, and started acting awful.
Unfortunately, the time for my mission trip is drawing near and wham! It struck me that I might need to back out. How can one serve with an unclean conscious? You can't. Backed into a corner, my view of the situation became clear. It was me. I had to respond. I had to step up. There was no strong, solid person being called. They had their own calls to answer, this one was mine.
So...I did it. It was not even close to resembling David standing before Goliath with a slingshot or Esther going before the king but it was obedience. The whole time I was wondering if it was appropriate to pray that I did not wet my pants or vomit in front of others but, ultimately, I determined that if it meant God would be glorified I had to do it and be okay with the fact that I would probably be humbled in the process. Oh, the peace that flooded in afterward!
If you learn nothing else from this blog, learn to obey God and do it quickly! Few things in life I take very seriously because in life, most things are temporary but God's holiness is very serious and it is eternal. Obviously, I need to be even more serious about it so I respond the first time.
"Holy" has become a church word that is void of meaning. We say it but we do not think about it. How can we get back its meaning? Its reverence? One way is by being obedient when you are called to do something. Now please excuse me while I go study the lesson I have to teach on this mission trip about submission to teaching and correcting others in love. Coincidence? I think not.