Monday, January 14, 2013

You Want to Do What????

  At times in life, you get surprises.

Sometimes they are good. The hubby cleans the kitchen, takes care of all the animals and does the laundry. Your bio daughter spontaneously tells you of her passion for Christ.

Sometimes they are random. Your foster daughter decides to become a vegetarian at lunchtime when you have already made chicken tenders and fruit. You get a different movie than the one you were expecting from Netflix (Could you all please send "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" back to Netflix?) Your wildlife camera reveals that there is practically no wildlife activity in the back of your property but there are nightly critter parties right near your house.

Sometimes the surprises are shocking. The new doctor puts your bio daughter on a restrictive diet until you see him again in six weeks. The ob/gyn sends you off to have a mammogram and several ultrasounds.

Other times, they are sad. The wonderful pastor you have had for 4-1/2 years is moving back to his home church hundreds of miles away.

My bio daughter wants to go to Honduras on a mission trip for two weeks and one or both of those weeks may be without me and I said, "You want to do what????" But, how can you deny your teen such a thing when her heart just starts overflowing love for Christ and hurting people.

My foster daughter is doing pretty well...I think. Therein lies most of the problem. The communication has been difficult. Just when you think you have made some connection, you find out that it is as delicate as  a thread from a spider web. The other day right as I finish making lunch, she comes downstairs and informs me that she is now a vegetarian to which I reply in my most puzzled tone, " want to do what??? 'Cuz lunch may be a bit disappointing." She surveyed the plate of chicken tenders and fruit and then proclaims that she will start at dinner and that I should not forget. Ok.

Later in the week, we visit a new doctor for all my bio daughter's weird, unresolved symptoms. He really listened but then he announces that he wants to put her on a no grain, no dairy, no chicken diet for 2 weeks then no grain, no dairy, no chicken, no fruit diet for 2 weeks until we see him again. My bio daughter and I were both thinking, "You want to do what???" Ok.

After that doctor visit, I bravely drag myself in for my woman checkup. Admittedly, it has been a while, like years. I was so nervous that I would get chewed out that my stomach was upset which, if you are a woman, you can imagine how it added to my anxiety. I would die right on that table if a gastrointestinal upset happened during the checkup, instantly die I tell you. This is why I wish Titus 2 was put into action because no one told me about these things and it has always been one shocking surprise after another since my teenage years. Anyway, I digress. So, I bravely go in and try to focus on other things when the doctor informs me that I need a mammogram and an ultrasound. She did not scold me for not coming in yearly. She knows why women avoid these checkups but she happily tells me that she would prefer I went that day, just real quick to get it done. In and out she says. Arriving at the clinic, I sign in and hand the receptionist my sheet from the doctor at which point she informs me that I am having three ultrasounds. She names them loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear. "You want to do what?!!!" 
(This is exciting and even fun. This is not what I had done.)
While turning maroon, I explain that she must be confused. She directs me to sit down and fill out the five pages of paperwork. My heart pounds when a nurse quietly calls my name and I prepare to plead my case. Possibly sensing my rising protestations, she quickly informs me of the list of procedures again and that the mammogram is first. My resolve sinks defeated into my stomach. She hands me what looks to be a Bounty Select-a-size paper towel, the smallest section, and tells me to put it on so the opening is in the front. They must get a good chuckle knowing that it is not possible for it to close at all. (Note to self: go green & make my own hospital exam gown) Dressed in the napkin, I expose myself to the jaws of the machine and she tells me to look left at which point I get a good view of an extremely large painting of a young Victorian woman arm behind her head, relaxing on a chaise whilst dreamily looking off in the distance. Apparently, she forgot to put on anything under her sheer dress. Who in their right mind thought that women would like to see this while having a mammogram??? Afterward, I am left to reflect on it all while waiting for the ultraviolation...I mean ultrasounds. Ah, surprises. Let's just say I had several moments of "You want to do what!!!" Poor ultrasound technician.

Needless to say, I lived to tell about it and I am so thankful to be done with it all. In the face of any surprise - good, bad, random, or embarrassing; how thankful I am that I have God. He is definitely long-suffering with my many "You want to do what?" moments. Today I heard a radio sermon say, "God does not change us so that He can love us. He loves us so that He can change us." Thank you Lord because I could not pull off anything that would even amount to a hill of beans. Without a doubt God took me when I was a worthless rogue and He has changed me and still is changing me. My procrastination and protesting is lessening but I am SO glad that my salvation is not dependent upon me dressing in a baby wipe and being squeezed in vice grips. 

Matthew 9:17
"Neither is new wine put into old wineskins. If it is, the skins burst and the wine is spilled and the skins are destroyed. But new wine is put into fresh wineskins, and so both are preserved.”

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