And the Winner is...

  When your husband starts the morning by calling you "the mom of moms," just know that something is coming to knock you off the pedestal. 

   We were cruising along surviving the no grain, no dairy, no chicken, no fruit,  and at the end of it, I, being the amazing mom I am (haha), decided to give my daughter some nice strawberries sliced with banana with her grain-free waffle and nice healthy glass of green Naked juice. Sounds so nutritious and healthy. How much more awesome could I be? She was feeling sort of weird at lunch but by dinner, she was just pushing through and then she crashes pale and weak onto her bed. The next day she has eggs and a glass of Naked juice. She is not great but functioning until the afternoon. Long before dinner she is in bed curled in a ball. Today as I wait for the grain-free zucchini banana muffins to cool, I set out plates and glasses. Before I pour the juice the old noggin kicks on and I read the Naked juice label. Ya know, just to see how much wonderful nutrition I am giving my baby girl. Shock and horror! Wheat grass AND barley grass!!! Mom fail...

  I poisoned my child with green Naked juice. And the award for "Worst Mother" goes to...me!!!
Poor thing. She did forgive me.

  In the midst of all that our foster daughter decides to test the water with a good dose of rebellious defiance. She skips school and hides in the woods. Thank you T-Mobile for having a tracking feature available.

  Of course, she went on the attack when I found her. She reached in and gave my heart a nice rip but I stayed calm. Thank you Lord for giving me strength and wisdom. It was just a terrible day. So much pain exists in her heart over a mother who disappeared. "What is the point of existing if your own mother doesn't want you?" How deeply heartbreaking. Even moms who make mistakes and bad choices are wanted, needed, and loved by their children. We have to press on. I made my child sick, literally, and she still wants me around.

  We can never take back the past but we can ask forgiveness and work on the moment. Press on. Persevere. If you are reading this and you have made mistakes, hurt someone, and think you cannot go back, realize that you can grow by trusting God to move you through whatever it is in your life. Life from God is greater than our temporary failings. Our failings are not out of God's sovereignty and I have found that they actually can produce good. Sometimes they produce laughter, sometimes they produce a stronger bond, and sometimes they just open my eyes to something I needed to realize.

  So, you out there who lost your daughter because of some personal failing, she is at my house and she wants you to know that she is hurt but she thinks about you everyday. She wants to know you are okay and that you want her to be okay. More than anything she wants you to know that she would accept you because you are her mother.

  To all the moms who are fighting through failures and shortcomings, keep at it. Laugh through them, cry together through them, grow in love and trust in Christ. He has purpose for all things.

Psalm 119:169-176
"Let my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding according to your word! 
Let my plea come before you, deliver me according to your word. 
My lips will pour forth praise, for you teach me your statutes. 
My tongue will sing of your word, for all your commandments are right. 
 Let your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts. 
 I long for your salvation, O Lord, and your law is my delight.
Let my soul live and praise you, and let your rules help me. 
 I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek your servant, for I do not forget your commandments."

Blessings are Gluten-free and Not Processed

 Okay, I'm a slacker. It has been about 2 weeks since my last post. But can you forgive me? I have been going gluten-free. Bye bye wheat, barley, and rye.

  The doctor confirmed that my bio daughter has a gluten allergy. It takes a lot of research to have a child with a gluten allergy. No more going to the grocery store all willy nilly putting whatever I want in the basket. Now, I have to read each and every label like a food stalker. Thankfully there are people who are much more patient that have helped me. One friend has given us the low down on restaurants and places to shop and of course, the internet has been a wealth of information. If you need to be grain-free then go to Against All Grain. She has the most fabulous recipes that taste almost like the original grain recipe.

  At first I was trying to keep grain for the rest of us but it has become too tedious (at least for now) to make different meals and not to cross contaminate. So I am re-learning baking. It is a new season for us.

  Then we said goodbye to our pastor and his family and that was not easy so I will refrain from saying anything else about it at this time. My face is water-logged.

  But all those tears are not overlooked by God. He knows each one. 

Psalm 56:8
"You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?"

  May I remain focused on God and His sovereignty over ALL things because in that is hope found. Hope should produce joy even in sadness. When a toilet overflows, what was inside comes out. My life should overflow so that what is inside comes out and I really want it to be joy and not sewage. 

  God has done too much that deserves praise. One, I was taught by a preacher that was deep in the Truth for 4 years. Two, my daughter is feeling better and who really needs grain when you have the Bread of Life? Three, the sun rose and set and it was spectacular. We had food to eat and clothes to keep us warm. My church doors were open and I could sing and praise God all I wanted. God has made me new and given me hope. Come on, who else would have taken in a poor, lying, thieving, manipulating, drinking, drug-using, suicidal, lust addicted person? God did and He gave me all these blessings, not because I had an inkling of good but because He purposed it. So, my only question is, "What will you do next, God? Show me more of Your wonderful glory and how I can serve You."

Psalm 56:10-13
"In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?

 I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life."

Isn't it amazing that God's blessings fit perfectly, come at the perfect time, and completely refresh you?