Sometimes it is good to drag your teenager out with you even if they pretend that they are not interested. This past week my teenager and I went to the art museum's free day to an exhibit I really wanted to see before it ended. Surprisingly, she enjoyed the exhibit more than I.
About mid-way through an exhibit of mixed media sculptures, my daughter loudly states, "Museums are not good places for me." She has a thing about touching stuff. This, of course, set museum security on high alert and we pretty much had personal escorts the rest of our visit. I could have chastised her and told her to get a grip or gotten frustrated but I could only chuckle. You see, I am a very tactile person (not so much with people but take me to a fabric store...). My daughter has very much inherited this trait from me. It was a moment of connection.
We are at a place in our relationship where she feels that she has to prove she is her own person, a young woman not a child. She needs to believe that she does not need mommy hovering so she can have the courage to fly from the nest soon. Some young people do this by shutting out their parents, creating a persona that is contrary to their parents, or are just plain touchy about anything their parents try to do.
Actually, I do this myself with God on occasion. "Hey God, I got this, I can do it myself." Let's not mention all the times I hide in social settings or just let the old flesh flare up and act utterly depraved. I have been daring enough to doubt Him, forget His goodness, and stray from what I know is truth. Yet, God is gentle with me. His grace is poured out over and over. Even in moments where He corrects me, He is patient because He is growing me in sanctification. Psalm 103:10-14 is a great reminder of God's steadfast love, grace, and patience.
I have to ask myself, "Do I practice this? Am I offering up grace in the face of personal rejection? Am I patient in correcting others? Am I steadfast in walking alongside those who are in my life? Am I pointing over and over to Jesus and how He has shown me grace?"
You probably already know the answer. The lesson is that I need to remember this when my final little bird is testing the water, when she is seeking to find the edges of who she is, and how the world fits in to what she has been taught. When she flies from the nest, I want to know that she has heard the Gospel and it has touched her life, if not completely transformed it.
So, the museum was a sweet lesson in self-control for both of us. We talked about how it is good to sometimes
put yourself in situations where you must practice controlling your
impulses. Over those moments, we connected, we shared. She knew I was her mother,
she was
my child, and nothing would change that and, I think for just a moment,
she was at peace with me.
And just to linger in that moment a little longer, we went to the gift shop and together
touched every knick knack, souvenir, and trinket then went to eat colorful, icy snow cones. It
was nice but more than that, it was time spent letting grace be touched, examined, experienced, and applied.
Thank you God.
Months before we moved last year, our son moved out. He wanted to move in with a few buddies and live closer to campus. We sat him down and gave him the "grown-up" talk about responsibility, choices, consequences, paying bills, and handling all the things your parents always took care of for you. His response was probably like most young people's response - rolling of the eyes and repeated confirmations that he knew all that. My folly was that for years I had been repeating to him that it was my job to raise him so that he could leave one day. What a schmuck I am! Here I was staring that moment in the face and I wanted to scream, "You can't leave! The training is not complete!"
Honestly, I would never feel ready for two reasons. One, I feel like a terrible mother (long story of the past) and two, I feel like I did not adequately teach him the Word of God and that he is going to walk away from church. But, here's truth: God is sovereign, I am not. I could have been the best Bible teacher in the world and lived the most respected Christian life (which I assure you I do not) and he still could leave and not follow Christ.
Relationships cannot be forced and definitely not a relationship with Christ. God's Word and prayer are part of my life and therefore, it is in my home but when children leave, they have to choose who or what they will serve. No matter what my children choose, I love them, pray for them, and when led, give advice but I cannot truly know the result of what their hearts took in until they live life.
It is a lot like the chicken coop my husband built for me. Never having built many things and having no real experience with chickens, made it an interesting undertaking. The coop looks great though and, yes, that is a plastic playhouse. I am so pleased and happy to show it off to anyone who comes over...
(Isn't it great!)
but the real test is not how great it looks, it is how well it functions. After a few days, the coop design revealed some problems. Cleaning it is a pain. Ugh! Hundreds of flies took over and the buzzing was sooooo loud that it would made you dizzy. Why????
Luke 6 reminds me clearly that it takes trial to test the integrity:
47 Everyone who comes to me and hears my words and does them, I will show you what he is like: 48 he
is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on
the rock. And when a flood arose, the stream broke against that house
and could not shake it, because it had been well built. 49 But
the one who hears and does not do them is like a man who built a house
on the ground without a foundation. When the stream broke against it,
immediately it fell, and the ruin of that house was great.”
Whether we like it or not, we will face trials and those trials will expose who we are and in what we trust. Even Christians sometimes find out that there is an area where they were not trusting in Christ. The difference is that when the flood comes, the ruin of the house is not "great" because the foundation exists, a lot like the chicken coop. Overall, the coop is solid but the issues inside cause frustration. When I realized the problems, I could have given up on the coop or sat down and had a pity party but I decided that the coop was worth correcting. If I did not correct it, the chickens would eventually get sick and Henna, Nilla, Poe, Jules, Auntie Em, Paislee, and Brownee would cease to exist. They depend on me to care for them.
It took a drill, some aspen wood chips, and diatomaceous earth to correct the problem. By drilling a small hole in the floor, I can spray out the inside and the water will drain out. Putting in a layer of aspen chips mixed with diatomaceous earth (the food grade kind) keeps the coop dry and the flies are discouraged from breeding but if they do, the DE kills them. Daily, I scoop out anything too nasty if needed and once a week, I scoop it all out and scrub it down. The coop is a thousand times better.
The process is a lot like my own life. Christ decided long ago my life was worth changing but it took a lot more than a drill and wood chips. As I repent, the nastiness is scooped out, Christ pours in grace and I am able to grow. Of course, I build up nastiness a lot quicker than my chickens and need scooping out on a daily basis but the process is functioning not frustrating. I depend on God to care for me and without Him, I would have ceased existing long ago (another long story from the past). I have entrusted God with my children as well and in that is peace despite my shortcomings as a mother. They will leave my coop one day but I can keep them before God through prayer.
Look what the pig drug in!!!
Adjusting to a child leaving the nest, a hospital stay, a move, and a new adventure have all passed under the bridge. You can either get buried under the burden of change or you break it open, look at it, and discover the joy. Re-evaluation of life is not only good, it is essential. The Bible commands it in 2 Corinthians 13:
"Examine
yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test
yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus
Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!"
And so, in the midst of putting together a new home and a new year of home school lesson plans for my only child at home, I did just that and I found that I had vision problems and heart trouble. It was not pleasant and brought me into low places. Log removal from my eyes and cleaning out layers of nastiness in my heart was necessary. For this new season of my life, I needed to grow in wisdom and not be so inclined to foolish wallowing in emotional mudpits. The path is already peppered with obstacles that require perseverance, which I am positive are in direct correlation with the areas that need sanctification and my response must match my faith.
How does this affect the blog? Well, the content will still contain helpful tips, recipes, home school tidbits, and a smidgeon of silliness but now I can add several new things. The first addition will be great photography because my daughter has blossomed into an amazing photographer. Next, the content will broaden to include information on foster care, dealing with the emptying of the nest, and venturing into farm life.
For now, grab yourself some concord grapes and make some grape fruit leather. One of my friends claims that it tastes like manna and since there is no way to dispute her claim, you will just have to see for yourself but, yes, it is worth the effort.
Concord Grape Fruit Leather
- 1 1/4 lb. concord grapes
- 1/2 c. sugar
- 3 T. honey
- 1 T. fresh lemon juice
Preheat oven to 200.
Wash the grapes, then squeeze them out of their skins into a pot. (this quite fun, they pop right out). Put the skins in the blender and puree them.
Cook insides about 20 min. over medium heat, stirring them occasionally, until seeds separate from inside. Put insides through a food mill or berry press to remove seeds and return to pot. Add in skins, sugar, honey, and lemon juice. You may want to taste this while cooking and adjust sugar if necessary. Cook about 35 min., stirring often, until very thick.
Put a layer of parchment paper in a jelly roll pan or half-sheet cake pan. Spread mixture evenly in a thin layer. Bake 3-4 hours until it is barely sticky. You can also dry this in a food dehydrator. When done, let it cool then cut into strips with parchment paper attached and roll up just like a fruit roll-up. Store in an airtight container.
