Adding to our little "farm" this year has been an exercise in failure. Gone are the bees and now gone are the ducks. We bounced from 3 to a pair to one lonely male duck. Then we went to the country flea market and purchased two females.
Right at the one month mark of buying the females, one of them disappeared. No feathers, no sign of foul play (or is it fowl play?). Two days after that we have no ducks. This time my husband found feathers in the back of the pond and some remains of the male duck. We are guessing a turtle is the suspect, a very big, very hungry alligator snapping turtle.
Living in the country is not always what it is cracked up to be. It takes work and perseverance and for me, it takes not bargaining with God. Country living was a dream of mine for a long time. I had grandiose ideas of raising all our own fruits and vegetables in a quaint garden and spending days canning our bountiful harvests while chickens pecked around outside my window.
Then the dream became real with more than I had asked and it also came with a "but."
But, life as I knew it was being turned upside-down and as it was crumbling, I bargained with God. "Take back the house and the land and restore what I had before." A lot of praying, studying, and seeking Godly advice revealed the truth and stopped my foolish thinking. We cannot pave our futures on what we see but only on the solid rock of Christ.
Our move was not some rogue bargain where I traded the real "good life" for a fake. God is not a game show host on the sideline wringing his hands, hoping that I pick the right curtain and not the whammy. He is holy, infinitely wise, always just, and always sovereign. He moved us here in His time for His purpose which I do not know. I know one thing.
He is using it ALL for His glory.
And so, this lesson I learned, times will come that will shake you to the core and you can either be cracked to pieces or be freed of all that you latched onto that was unnecessary in a life following Christ. And unlike country living, rest assured, in Christ, there is no failing.
- Psalm 73:25-26 "Whom have I in heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Sometimes it is good to drag your teenager out with you even if they pretend that they are not interested. This past week my teenager and I went to the art museum's free day to an exhibit I really wanted to see before it ended. Surprisingly, she enjoyed the exhibit more than I.
About mid-way through an exhibit of mixed media sculptures, my daughter loudly states, "Museums are not good places for me." She has a thing about touching stuff. This, of course, set museum security on high alert and we pretty much had personal escorts the rest of our visit. I could have chastised her and told her to get a grip or gotten frustrated but I could only chuckle. You see, I am a very tactile person (not so much with people but take me to a fabric store...). My daughter has very much inherited this trait from me. It was a moment of connection.
We are at a place in our relationship where she feels that she has to prove she is her own person, a young woman not a child. She needs to believe that she does not need mommy hovering so she can have the courage to fly from the nest soon. Some young people do this by shutting out their parents, creating a persona that is contrary to their parents, or are just plain touchy about anything their parents try to do.
Actually, I do this myself with God on occasion. "Hey God, I got this, I can do it myself." Let's not mention all the times I hide in social settings or just let the old flesh flare up and act utterly depraved. I have been daring enough to doubt Him, forget His goodness, and stray from what I know is truth. Yet, God is gentle with me. His grace is poured out over and over. Even in moments where He corrects me, He is patient because He is growing me in sanctification. Psalm 103:10-14 is a great reminder of God's steadfast love, grace, and patience.
I have to ask myself, "Do I practice this? Am I offering up grace in the face of personal rejection? Am I patient in correcting others? Am I steadfast in walking alongside those who are in my life? Am I pointing over and over to Jesus and how He has shown me grace?"
You probably already know the answer. The lesson is that I need to remember this when my final little bird is testing the water, when she is seeking to find the edges of who she is, and how the world fits in to what she has been taught. When she flies from the nest, I want to know that she has heard the Gospel and it has touched her life, if not completely transformed it.
So, the museum was a sweet lesson in self-control for both of us. We talked about how it is good to sometimes
put yourself in situations where you must practice controlling your
impulses. Over those moments, we connected, we shared. She knew I was her mother,
she was
my child, and nothing would change that and, I think for just a moment,
she was at peace with me.
And just to linger in that moment a little longer, we went to the gift shop and together
touched every knick knack, souvenir, and trinket then went to eat colorful, icy snow cones. It
was nice but more than that, it was time spent letting grace be touched, examined, experienced, and applied.
Thank you God.
Sundays are awesome. I love waking up and going to meet with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ to worship together as a Body. Worship is always good but meeting as the Church in worship is even better. We had an amazing sermon from Leviticus 9.
The message focused on God being the one who prescribes how He should be worshiped. After all He is the one who would best understand that and we would be the last ones to ask. Our talents lie more in the area of how to best rebel against God and know nothing of holiness until the Holy Spirit teaches us but that is a slow process.
Of course, this steps on a lot of people's toes but once you dig into the Old Testament and you see how God laid the foundation of worship, you cannot deny the truth. Jesus also made it extremely clear in the New Testament that it was not open to interpretation. The road is narrow and He is the way. That doesn't leave much room for "you do it your way and I'll do it my way."
Are we really so arrogant to think we can dictate terms to God? "I will worship you in this way." "I will not read the Word You gave but come up with my own ideas of who You are." "I will serve when I have time and feel like it." Does the God of the universe need our prescription for knowing Him, serving Him, worshiping Him or hasn't He already made Himself clear? Would He leave it open to people who started out doubting Him and trusting their own pride? Or have we just lost the fear of the Lord?
