Inside Out and Better

 Friday morning was dark and as the day eased in, it was veiled in a sheet of  clouds so that it was as bleary-eyed as I. Hesitantly, I started the morning cycle. Dogs outside, release the chickens, prepare daughter's medicine, mop laundry room, usher out the pig, toss her food around while letting dogs in, feed dogs, feed fish.

 The fogginess of my eyes did not stop the words. Lots of words swirling around in my brain with nothing to latch on to or give them meaning but they wanted to be free as much as the animals. Some days my brain wants to write. Maybe it is the days of incapacitation  these past 2 weeks. I am grateful those days are coming to an end. It has been many years since I have been in this place. It is not something I have a name for but I know it and when I was younger it happened often.

 First, it starts with encroaching fatigue and something under my skin feels wrong. By day 2 or 3, it exposes itself with small patches of itchy eczema and in a few days it feels like it is consuming me. Strict diet, sleep, lotion, antihistamines, loads of supplements.

 Any glimpse in the mirror exposes a person unrecognizable externally. Groping around in my head I recognize my soul is the same and, when awake, so is my mind. It is me.  My thoughts are mine, the memory is mine, and I recognize the familiar sins. The shell is different but the inside is still what it was before.

 The problem is that I struggle during these times. It is tough to sleep, fatigue never lets up, and the pain and itchiness are enough to drive you insane but that is only part of my battle. The other part is pride. I hide not wanting anyone to see me, not wanting to be stared at, not wanting to be repulsive.

 How foolish am I.

 The outside is a small, temporary part of who God created us to be. Oh, but how we like to dress that part up, decorate it, and show it off as if it makes up for what we lack inside. If the outside looks like what is brewing on the inside, we are exposed. Trapped in our skin and our sin. That is what these times feel like. What is amazing is that Jesus is still here. He is not put off by the outside and He already knows the worse inside. He knows that this is just a short season of who I really am with or without a swollen, rashy face. There is more to come for me in eternity. 

 But...for today...
I will be grateful that I feel better. The outside is looking better and the inside is being improved, too. It is a great God who does not leave His people in the state He finds them.
- Zechariah 13:9 "And I will put this third into the fire,
and refine them as one refines silver,
and test them as gold is tested.
They will call upon my name,
and I will answer them.
I will say, ‘They are my people’;
and they will say, ‘The LORD is my God.'"

Isaiah 53: a Weapon of Mass Destruction or a Shelter

  After listening to a very thought-provoking sermon from another pastor on Isaiah 53, I began to wonder how those who only want to focus on God's love and grace and get upset if you talk about sin think they will stand. God's character and our nature are basic principles of Truth. Getting them wrong separates one from the wheat and defines one spiritually as a goat. 

KJV Bible (Photo credit: knowhimonline)

 Maybe you think I am too harsh in my judgment but take a moment and read Isaiah 53. I'll wait...

 The pastor I listened to spoke of how this passage clearly defines what Christ was going to do and then answers over and over why He did it. So, why did God become man and suffer death on the cross to be raised again? Well, let's just look at the passage:

- Why? Isaiah 53:5a - he was pierced for our transgressions

- Why? Isaiah 53:5b - he was crushed for our iniquities

- Why? Isaiah 53:6a - All of us like sheep have gone astray 

- Why? Isaiah 53:6b - Each of us has turned to his own way

- Why?  Isaiah 53:8 - stricken for the transgression of my people

- Why? Isaiah 53:10 - his soul makes an offering for guilt

- Why? Isaiah 53:11 -make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities

-Why? Isaiah 53:12 - he bore the sin of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors

 Hmmm, seems that this short prophecy makes it very clear why the perfect sinless person of Christ died. It speaks of a well thought out plan that foreknew the cost. Obviously, it is rooted in love but the great cost came in part because God is holy, righteous, and just and to just let us slide after offending His very Word and nature would render Him none of those things. So Christ knowing that He would be despised and rejected (Is 53:3), came to take on our grief and sorrows (Is 53:4) and be stricken, smitten, afflicted (Is 53:4), pierced, crushed, chastised (Is 53:5), oppressed (53:7), judged (Is 53:8), put to grief (Is 53:10), anguished (Is 53:11), and poured out to death (Is 53:12) all for something that we should not talk about or focus on too much????

 How will a person stand if they discount sin? If you believe God is love (and He is), you can rest assured that He loves His Son. For all of us, who are enemies of God by nature, to shrug at sin and not take it seriously, not feel the heft of it, or understand the implications, we are rejecting the very work of His Son that reconciles us to God and piling up a condemnation of nuclear proportions. 

 Do you want to only focus on God's grace and love? Then I beg you to first rightly understand why you need grace at all and the great cost at which it comes. I beg you to be broken by Isaiah 53:7 and 11 knowing that God in the Father and the Son knew what it would take to be able to restore you and He suffered it all in spite of our rejection and mocking.  Any appeal to God's love is truly made through the work of His love. 

 Jesus as propitiation for our sin is the only shelter.