It's Alive!!!

  "Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD!"   - Psalm 27:14

  That verse...oh how I sat and pondered on it one day when I felt that life was just not what it should be and God was not answering. Okay, just wait on the Lord, that's what I'll do. Then I set about my day waffling between impatient "waiting" and whining.

  Late in the day, about the time my husband arrives home from working, I ventured outside because it was nice weather. Walking out back, I noticed that two of my chickens were missing so I decided to try to wrangle them up just to be sure all was well. A family of hawks had been very active the last few days. 

  Wrangling chickens is easy. A canister of dried meal worms is the secret. Just shake it a few times and you will get a re-enactment of Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" in chicken form (it is a lot less frightening). Two shakes...seven birds. Two more shakes...still seven birds only now they are in much more of a frenzy. By the third set of shakes, seven chickens are practically performing the Nutcracker Suite trying to get me to toss out some worms. Two chickens were still AWOL. Finally, I toss out some worms and head towards the creek where occasionally a few brave chickens will wander close to hoping to score a new variety of bug. 

  After calling a few minutes, all I spy is a hawk that flies off from a nearby tree. This worked wonders in curing me of my earlier woes because now my mind is imagining that Poe and Nilla have become hawk feed. Then I hear chicken sounds further in the woods but I cannot see a thing so not sparing a moment, I run to get my dog that sometimes helps me chase chickens back to the fenced area. 

  Nacho could possibly be an amazing duck hunting dog if he weren't afflicted with a dog form of attention deficit disorder. He stalks around outside following wherever I go and running off to investigate anything that distracts him. We find nothing. An hour later, I'm trying to juggle cooking dinner and finding chickens. Outside 5 minutes. Inside to stir pots for 5 minutes. Back outside searching for 5 minutes. 

  One last trip outside, I resolve that I have definitely lost two chickens. As Nacho and I make our way back to the house, something jumps under the rose bush by the house. An exhausted, distressed Poe has somehow from somewhere returned confused. Trying to herd the chicken to the fence, I can tell that she is too tired to flap enough to fly over so I will have to get her to go through the gate. Sounds easy but I can attest to the fact that chickens have an aversion to open gates. Thinking that Nacho can help me, I call him over and we set about coaxing her near the open gate but she runs past it. Nacho thinks this is great and he continues to chase her around the fence. After two passes of the open gate, I am beyond frustrated and dinner is possibly burning...blackened green beans, anyone? Finally, because this is always a good option, I yell. "Ugh! Why can't you just learn to stop and wait when I need you to Nacho!" 

  SLAP!

  That was the sound of God's Word showing itself to be living right in my face. Oh yes, I got it. It was loud and clear. 

  Why can't I wait upon the Lord? Why do I just run back and forth in a tizzy like a chicken with an open gate phobia? The whole time God just wants me to wait. Then the rest of the verse made sense. I am not being strong or taking courage. I am scared and weak, which ultimately boils down to not trusting the Lord. A little object lesson is all it takes for me sometimes to see my huge need for repentance. 

  Sometimes when you are praying and praying for something, you need to batten down the hatches, throw out the anchor, pull down the sails, and just sit and wait. Waiting is not the absence of action. It takes a lot of effort to get out the anchor and toss it into the water. It takes a lot of work to strengthen your heart. You are going to have to get deep in the Word and fight against your desire to "do something" and your thoughts that want to drag you to despair and frustration. Wait on the Lord. He is doing something but it just does not involve you yet. Wait on the Lord. He is answering but it is not the solution your brain has concocted. Just wait on the Lord. 

  By the way, Poe did run through the gate after my yelling episode but I am sure it was in spite, not because, of my effort. And, right as the sun was almost set, Nilla also returned home from somewhere. Hawks, 0. Me, humbled. God, all the glory.

 

I'm Rare & Other Not Well-Done Thoughts

  It feels like someone has hit the fast forward button. We zoomed through Thanksgiving and now Christmas is right around the corner. So much to do and yet here I am sitting in the radiating glow of my computer.

  My bio daughter made everyone take a personality test on Thanksgiving eve. Normally, I would not put too much thought into such things because God and His work in me is my focus, not man's view but this test was a little uncanny so, out of curiousity, I stepped up for my turn. 72 questions later, I click "done" and the reading of my personality profile brings entertainment for all except me. According to this test, I have a rare personality belonging to only 1-3% of the population.

   No surprise that I am labelled as an introvert but I am not sure how I feel about being "rare," although, my family finds it deliciously amusing and bring it up every time I do something they feel is eccentric (like my admiration for a stick I saw laying in a parking lot as we drove by but it was perfect in size and shape, great for poking a fire or walking). Hey, God knew me before He even formed me in my mother's womb, so there I rest toe socks and all. 

  The rest of my time has been spent with numerous vet trips, Christmas decorating, damage control, and chicken chasing. (I'm not helping my cause am I?) Anyway...

  Our littlest dog was outside with my hubby when two dogs from different neighbors' came into the field right beside our yard. She trotted over to investigate and immediately, they attacked her. Thankfully, my hubby was right there to save her but she was bitten twice. She came away from the vet looking like she had a terrible mishap with chopsticks.

  Onto prettier things...
I made a nice centerpiece for Thanksgiving with some apples, a few things from my yard plus an acacia wood platter and tiny candles I found at my favorite store, HomeGoods, on the cheap (less than $15 for the platter and set of 12 candles). What do you think?

  Now I am working on my mantle for Christmas. Here is what it looks like so far:

Sort of plain so far (yes, I know I need my photographer). My plan is to make a plaque with a Bible verse for the centerpiece but so far, there has just not been time. 

  Our girl from the group home has been very excited about Christmas. So far, things are going well but not without glitches. We found a wishlist she had created months back with some scary things on it, like books on black magic, but when she sent me the link to the wishlist, all of that was gone and she only had shoes and an IPod on it. She is also very drawn to dressing and acting like a boy but this seems to be not as bad the more she gets comfortable with us. It is understandable to be uncomfortable as a woman if you have not had a consistent example. Because of her oppositional behavior, we are not directly addressing this issue. The plan is to patiently guide her in love and truth. While doing a sewing project, I began to notice that she becomes very child-like when she and I do things like this together. 

  One area that has been difficult is dealing with our bio daughter's feelings. Surprisingly, she has quite a selfish streak and purposely does things to avoid our girl, even becoming sassy with us. She was enthusiastically on-board when we started this process but now reality has hit and she confesses that it is not as fun to share your family. Her goal after graduating is to do mission work so I think God is using this to sand off some of that attitude to prepare her for working closely with people. Appealing to her with Scripture and keeping communication open has been important but the struggle is not over. 

  In the midst of it all, God gives me lessons from everyday living to guide me. One day I let my little chickens out to free range but one of them got scared and flew over the fence. She ended up in the woods on the other side of the creek. After I climbed down into the creek bed and up the other side, she flew into a tree. The hen was small, an easy prey, and she had made a terrible choice in her fear. I could leave her there knowing that the chances of her survival were small since it was an area that many raccoons inhabited or I could patiently redirect her. I chose the latter. The first try just moved her into a new tree. The second try, she flew to a new tree and higher up but on the third try, she flew back across the creek and ran to the fence. Giving her moment to settle down, I coaxed her into the yard and back into the pen. 

  You see, if I am willing to climb down a sketchy creek bank and into briar- infested woods to try over and over to draw a chicken back home, how much more should I try to draw my children along. The love and patience for them should overflow because they are more valuable and the predators are much more fierce. 
1 Peter 5:

5" So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: ² shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; ³ not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. ⁴ And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory. ⁵ Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

⁶ Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, ⁷ casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. ⁸ Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."