So You Want to be Dignified

  The New Testament calls for us to be semnos also translated as dignified, august, venerable, or reverend especially as we get older. I do, I do, I do, I dooooo so want to  be dignified. 

 Now I'm 40-ish years old and the wrinkles and gray hairs are coming along just fine but the semnos, not so much...and I check at least twice a week. 


The problem, I fear, is the over-colonization of dorky and klutzy with maybe some artsy-ness, but not the good kind that produces cool stuff. I can make a mean ugly Christmas sweater. Seriously, it won 3 years in a row. 

  See, that right there. Dignified would not be making an ugly Christmas sweater and definitely not wearing one. And maybe I should stop the watching of cartoons, which is not on a regular basis by the way. And give up trying to learn to whistle through my fingers...at least while my teenager is around with her phone. I could change all that.

 But then there is the stuff that I cannot control like the spills and the falling and the dropping stuff. It happens alone and in public. For example, take the soda fiasco:

 The in-laws were coming and the hubby told me to purchase their favorite beverage in 12 pack form, so I did. Being the good wife, I put it in the fridge and proceeded to open the box so that one could remove a can with ease (so very Proverbs 31 of me). 

 Maybe I provided too much ease because a can rolled out onto the floor and burst open. When I reached for it, another one hit the floor and then another, each one splitting open in the middle. The fourth one had two small holes and the pressure from falling to the floor set it to spin whilst shooting soda to the higher regions of the kitchen. As the fifth can crashed to the floor, I grabbed up the carton but the mess was overwhelming. 60 ounces of soda all over the kitchen and t-minus 20 minutes until in-laws arrived. 

Dignified-looking lady...not me

 It was very cartoonish, the stuff of comedy sketches. Uncontrollably dorky and undignified.

 Graciously, God always finishes what He starts. He does not  leave us where He finds us nor does He walk away from us, even those of us who are challenging. The truth is He created us and He loves us. Although some may gain wisdom faster and some may gain semnos before others, God's timing is perfect and purposeful. So I pray, "Lord, teach me to honor you through the goof-ups and mishaps. Show me how to glorify You and grow in the moments where I fall so very short. Let these times be reminders that it is not about me and it is always about You all the time."

 Waaaaait...could it be that being august, venerable, and reverend is not completely about one's physical actions???? 

Maybe one day soon

The Now is the New Season

 Here in the Southeast, we have been hard-pressed to believe that summer has been here. It feels like October most days. As we rapidly approach real Autumn, I realize that I am so focused on what is to come that I mindlessly push through the moments I am in and fail to see what God is doing right now.

 Why am I not seeking Him more for the right now? In reality, we do not even know if we will get another season and the now is the time God is using in my life. I should learn in it, through it, and not always get the lesson after.

  In the season of getting a diagnosis for our daughter's illness, we started treatment, then I was wishing for that season to end. Here we are, possibly nearing the end of illness, and I realize that I should have cultivated more Truth during that time. Sure I was praying but my prayers were more pleas of "Get us out of here" than "Show me how to glorify You."

 Obviously, I am grateful that God has taken my child from being miserably bed-ridden to working, running everyday, and driving me insane to kick a soccer ball around with her. Truly, it is worthy of praise but He was using those times of weakness to speak to her. What I thought was her faith was God's grace working to clear ground for a foundation. What I thought was her surrender to God was Him placing a marker of His faithfulness in her life that He will use one day. 

 That beautiful girl that I love so dearly was too weak to fight in the flesh and when God raised her out of the bed not only did she start running physically, she started running spiritually. Of course, prayer for her health was good but I should have also praised Him for the season He had put us in and had my eyes open to see the grace, beauty, and joy that had never left. Could it be that I love my daughter more than I trust God? Let it not be.

 The now finds me watching family deny faith that once they claimed. The now finds me struggling with perseverance and feelings, like inadequacy and discouragement. The now finds me repenting. The now starts me in my very last year of home school ever. The now brings my dear son back home to spend time with us and even talk. The now is moving my marriage to lots of time together alone. The now encourages me to listen closer to God's Word, watching more diligently for His hand in each moment and praising Him even in trials. 

 So, let the now take its time while I examine it through Truth and extract the most I can from it to glorify God. Only He knows what the next season will bring.

 2 Peter 3:8-14: "The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. 
 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed. 
 Since all these things are thus to be dissolved, what sort of people ought you to be in lives of holiness and godliness, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be set on fire and dissolved, and the heavenly bodies will melt as they burn! 
 But according to his promise we are waiting for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. Therefore, beloved, since you are waiting for these, be diligent to be found by him without spot or blemish, and at peace."

 What is God doing in your now?

Coming Out of Your Shell

  In keeping with the advice to keep a blog, especially a new one, brief; I will attempt to make this short. 

  Not long ago someone close to me told me that my lack of talking pushed them away, even repulsed them. This was hard to take in. I am not a real chatty person unless I am nervous or have come across something intriguing. Otherwise, I struggle to have what some people would call chit chat. In social settings, my brain screams at me to think of something, anything to say which just increases the tension, and in turn makes me incapable of thinking at all. So, yeh, usually I end up saying something weird or dumb or nothing at all.

 Today, this person's revelation rang loudly in my head and so I walked through the woods and by the creek pondering what I should do. As I tried to drive my thoughts back to all things honorable, just, true, pure, and praiseworthy, I saw this guy:

 Usually, I only see the left behind skin that cicadas disperse with once they get above ground and break free with wings to fly. This guy was suspended in between his old life and the new and he did not seem to be in a rush about it. How fitting. I seem to be in the same position. The old me panicking over my awkwardness and the new me filled with all the power of the Holy Spirit. 

  Lord, let me not dishonor or misrepresent You because I drag around the old shell of who I used to be.